with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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