I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
