i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
