I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
