I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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