is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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