just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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