Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
