:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
