Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
