I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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