so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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