her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
4 words: hood of his car
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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