Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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