im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
organizing the empties. That sober.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
