dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize