i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
