Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
