You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
