And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
