if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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