Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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