:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
