Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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