I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Please don't give away my fajitas
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
