shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
