Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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