Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bring me that man meat
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
