You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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