when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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