yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize