We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
