she takes plan B like it's going out of style
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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