I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
