The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
