Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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