Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
