You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
