would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will pee on everything he values.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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