you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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