I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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