check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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