Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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