Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
