I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
