shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize