Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
