Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
