I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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