...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
