Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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