how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Found your dick twin last night
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
