swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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