someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
