sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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