Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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