Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
