i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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